my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
