if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
