Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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