I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize