but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
