you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
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