That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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