If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Randomize
