so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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