I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Quick, to the slutcave!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
