this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
