Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
