i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
