gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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