do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
