No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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