She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
