Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
