oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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