I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
how does that bad decision feel?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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