I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize