she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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