wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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