I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
