why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
