I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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