I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dicks are not precious.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
