areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
