some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I've blown a few things in my day
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We had sex on a dog bed..
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