I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
What drink are we having for lunch?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This can only be settled by a dance off.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
