its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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