North Korea, Best Korea!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
