Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
