She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
