hell yes lets make some ravioli
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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