operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
