So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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