Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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