it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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