My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
