I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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