hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Nicole vs. Life
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
