Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
