Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
