I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just had sex bonerless
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
