I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
