Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
