She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
