Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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