Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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