Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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