Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
