but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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