She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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