just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize