Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize