guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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