i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
