he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
