that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
