So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
