I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
