I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
