Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
