just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
