Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
