This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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