Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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