Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
