There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize